Tag: humor
member name: Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N.
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September 22, 2006 07:43 AM EDT --
Once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put some in the food.
...If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
Whatever . . .
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September 26, 2006 08:38 AM EDT --
Please excuse the rough language in the following story.
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," . . .
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September 10, 2006 08:20 PM EDT --
Three old mischievous grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old grandpa walked by, and one of the old grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly . . .
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September 20, 2006 04:50 AM EDT --
A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. . . .
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September 24, 2006 04:44 AM EDT --
This happened just outside of Breaux Bridge, a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, believe me, it's real.
An out-of-state traveler, we'll . . .
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September 24, 2006 05:03 AM EDT --
One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!"
A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was . . .
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September 25, 2006 07:01 AM EDT --
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week . . .
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September 17, 2006 06:48 AM EDT --
Harlow was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting . . .
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October 28, 2006 07:29 PM EDT --
Got this in an e-mail forward, wish I'd written it ~ Marilyn
The Outgoing Message:
Hello!
You have reached the automated answering service of your School. In order to assist you in connecting to . . .
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September 27, 2006 05:52 AM EDT --
Ok,
I will start.
an elephant.
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September 27, 2006 06:22 AM EDT --
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its
place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was
nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with it. . . .
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September 17, 2006 07:30 AM EDT --
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
___________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC . . .
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September 20, 2006 05:28 AM EDT --
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the . . .
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September 25, 2006 06:41 AM EDT --
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed . . .
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September 17, 2006 07:24 AM EDT --
17. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine
16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long
15. If I Can't Be Number One in Your Life, Then Number Two on You
14. If . . .
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September 29, 2006 05:15 AM EDT --
Bubba had Shingles
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!
Doesn't it seem that more and more that physicians are running their practices like . . .
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November 02, 2006 02:42 AM EST --
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it w/ colleagues, via the Internet, . . .
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September 05, 2006 08:22 AM EDT --
"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN"
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia . You are probably outraged . . .
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September 10, 2006 07:46 PM EDT --
FOR YOUR RETIREMENT:
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth..... $49.00
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, . . .
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September 24, 2006 04:53 AM EDT --
Living Will Form
I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands . . .
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